The Nebulous Church
(continued)

influencing
It may seem inappropriate for a person who stopped going to church almost 20 years ago to be speaking of influencing the church from within. However, I have never considered myself to be outside the Church. Before I was "put out of fellowship" I already held the view that the Church was one body and that all divisions were man-made, temporary and irrelevant. Once I became separated from the institution I began to act as if my vision were fact, and now the reality is beginning to appear out of the mist. vision In the 1960's I first gained a vision of the potential for one church based on love. In the 1970's I joined with thousands of others in the attempt to bring the "one church" vision into reality - especially following the inspiring call to faith given by the musical "Come Together". Our mistake was that we tried to create it by imposing a design, and life's not like that. Since leaving the recognised church I have held onto the vision, and sought to create it simply by living as if it already existed. I should explain....

commitment
When my wife and I found ourselves apparently alone, and people in our town were avoiding our company, we resolved to remain in the area and not to run away from the circumstances. We decided that our earlier commitment to the people who had since let us down had been a sincere commitment and that we could not abandon them. We continued to treat them as friends, even if they were cautious with us. When they, and others in the town who knew us less well, invited us to events that they thought would "do us good" we often accepted the invitation for their sake, even if our real interest in the event was limited. However, we avoided joining ourselves to any particular group or committing ourselves to regular meetings on a long-term basis. We deliberately cultivated friendships with people from a wide range of denominations ... when we met them at the shops we would stop and chat, just as friends. We had at one time been banned from meetings, but no-one could ban us from shopping!

open
Our policy has been to be ourselves and not to attempt to prove our spirituality or justify our position. If people wanted to judge us for "not going to church" that was their problem. If they viewed us as "backsliders" they were entitled to their opinion. However, they learned gradually that we remained open to them as friends or even as counselors. Some began to discuss spiritual matters with us, and sometimes to ask for our advice. On our part, we were not shy to ask for their help when we faced practical problems that we couldn't manage on our own. They remained "the Church" in our thinking and our acceptance of them led to their acceptance of us.

nebulous
I regard the Church as an elusive, but nevertheless real force that transcends all meetings and ignores all institutions and organisations. Maurice Smith coined the term "the Nebulous Church", and I like it. "Nebulous" means "like a cloud" and the Church is as vaguely defined and continuously changeable as any mountaintop mist. If you were to try and pin down a cloud it would vanish. If you tried to describe its shape it would change; but you know the cloud is real and that its waters can bring life. friendship The essence of church-ness is love, but I think these days that the word "friendship" conveys the meaning better. Doctrine divides, structures provoke power-struggles, order stifles creativity. By contrast.... Friendship overcomes dissension - we can agree to differ when we see our relationship as more important than our politics. Friendship is anarchistic - my friends don't rule me nor do I rule them. Friendship encourages creativity - if I believe in you, then you will be more confident to express yourself.

content
Many people will be dissatisfied with a church concept that cannot be clearly defined and written down. They want to be sure who is in and who is out and, perhaps, to make that decision on God's behalf. I am content to accept anyone who clearly wants God, however they express their beliefs, and I seek to make friends of them. By behaving as if the nebulous church is a reality, by treating as friends all those who put God before personal ambition, by accepting responsibility for my own spiritual health, I am seeking to create the vision by demonstrating how it can work. From where I am looking, the nebulous church is already here.

©Derrick Phillips
March 1995