The Prayer of St Francis and Commentary
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grant that I do not so much seek

He does not say that I may not seek, but not so much seek. Why? What is the difference? Because he asks for us to be balanced. Francis knew about extremes. His first part of his life was living the worldly life to the hilt. Then after his conversion he swung to the spiritual life, never compromising, pushing his body that it literally wasted away with austerities. The Buddha too did the same, swinging from one side to the other of the mind, until he realized that a string too tight on a vina will snap, yet if too loose will be off key. It is the middle way, the path of moderation. At least on the outer forms of expression. On the inside, however, the intensity for God should never slacken.
To say that you will never receive, or never ask to be consoled or to be understood would be to become dogmatic and not responsive to what life might be asking. To be only one way does not allow others in your life their opportunity to give or to console. Plus, it can be humbling to ask for help, safeguarding you from spiritual pride.

to be consoled as to console;

We as people have a habit to seek our friends when we are in pain. Oftentimes this is out of the need to get others to sympathize with our pain, our grievance. This does not help us to go beyond the condition of our suffering. It may make us feel better in the short run, like a shot of booze may, but it does not get to the cause. And the cause is not some action that may have inflicted pain on us; for what is the cause behind that action that caused pain? Such actions are but symptoms. The root cause is our feeling separate from the Whole, from God. Our only consolation ultimately lies with God. If we have the habit of seeking consolation from people, or possessions (going shopping, for instance), or eating, or entertainment, what will happen at the time of death when none of them will be there to find solace? Where will our refuge be then? Only God will be there for eternity.

However, there are times when it is beneficial to share with others on the Path our suffering, so they can remind you about who you really are. Francis had his brothers go out two by two so they could remind each other when the cloud of forgetfulness would block the sun of knowing. Here is where confession is helpful. It is important to speak ones ills to another who will listen without judgment, standing in the place of equanimity.

How do we console? By listening. In the novel Siddartha, by Herman Hesse, the ferry man Vasudeva helped ease the pain of Siddartha by just listening, which he had learned from the river; for in the river the saint and the sinner are but its bends on the way to the Ocean. ACIM counsels us not to get caught up in ones troubles, but to silently affirm for the other who appears to be suffering that she is as God created her, that, in Truth, in God, she is not suffering; it is only in her mind,. In the Arthurian legends, Parsival misses his chance to drink from the Grail and to heal the Fisher King because he fails to ask what ails the king. In Buddhism there is a call for compassion, to recognize that there is suffering (at least in this world of duality), and to meet it with kindness and not condemnation or even with the desire to fix the problem.

//Continued