Miss Chrissy Peasholme

It was a question that came out of nowhere because his mind had been on Miss Chrissy Peasholme in accounts. The CEO looked at him with that sharkey grin of his and repeated the question.

He coughed to gain time, drew back his shoulders then shuffled his papers as though looking for his prepared answer. This was a stitch up. It wasn't on the agenda, why did it always have to be him, never Morris Watkins smirking away at the table head, probably planning to be the table head.

Well, he began, as he saw it, the worst case scenario would be Miss Chrissy Peasholmes six foot boyfriend. No. No. Think. Think. Final cough then he launched into it.

'As I see it' he said 'the worst case scenario' he paused and coughed.

The board leaned forward like a synchronised swimming team. He wouldn't have batted an eyelid if their ears had swivelled.

'Is like this' He began 'A ships coming downstream with the tide, a large ship, say fifty thousand tons or more, a cruise liner late at night, you see the picture' Nods all round. 'Suddenly as the she approaches the river bridge crossing the ships engines fail, the vessel loses way, the river current slews the ship into one of the bridge piers, a tremendous crash, the ship is caught fast, the overhead road bridge splits open, a fully laden petrol tanker falls through the opening landing onto the deck of the ship exploding on impact, whoosh'

He stopped briefly to wave his arms around. 'A gigantic fireball erupts which shoots up into the air engulfing the vehicles still on the bridge above and at the same time frying half the ships passengers enjoying a farewell dance on deck. Then, the crippled cruise liner suddenly sinks bows first, ottle cottle, ottle cottle'

He paused again, this time plunging his arms under the table for effect.' The sinking ship lands on top of the underwater river tunnel carrying the eastbound road traffic, the tunnel caves in and water pours into it then roars out at both ends like a siphon. It floods the countryside, industrial sites, hotels, smart housing estates with riverside views, swoosh'

He threw his arms wide…. then stopped…. aware of a sudden strange and eerie silence….the CEO was looking at him with a fixed, glassy eyed incredulous stare, as were the rest of the board.

There was a prolonged silence.

Finally the CEO cleared his throat, sipped his designer water, wiped his brow with the agenda and turned.

He gave Morris a sharkey grin. 'Morris' he said 'how are we, insurance wise on this project, what's your best case scenario'

Morris Watkins drew back his shoulders and shuffled his papers; somehow he didn't think he would be keeping that date with Chrissy Peasholme after work….