Cuban crisis; what crisis?

Norfolk Virginia was a ghost town. The ship's agent told the captain that if Castro fired one off it would hit them about three minutes later. The mate asked about shore leave and the Captain told him 'end all leave at midnight' The agent looked with some surprise at this but the captain only shrugged, after all if you only had three minutes nobody would be jumping ship.

She sailed the next morning. The Chesapeake pilot wished them bon voyage and the Captain wished the pilot luck and meant it.

That afternoon the second mate reported an aircraft carrier with cruiser escorts about 5 miles away on their port bow, an hour later they were hove to and the Captain told the third mate to call the radio room for that 'weirdo sparks' to 'get his arse on the bridge'

The cruiser was close in its Aldis lamp flashing 'what's he saying' the captain squawked. The weirdo watched the blinking light 'He wants to know where we from, where we going and what we carrying' he said.

'Well tell him, tell him' shouted the Captain. Sparks carefully took the Aldis lamp out of the first mate's hands. He flashed back the ships call sign then:

From Norfolk VA bound New York for orders carrying ballast.

The cruiser told him to wait one. They waited. Then the cruiser suddenly flashed back 'OK' and gave them a course to follow.

The weirdo told the Captain then he said 'we're in international waters Captain shall I tell him to sod off'

The Captain staggered forward 'have you seen those guns pointing at us you idiot, look look' this was followed by a chorus of "look, look" from the mates.

'Only kidding' said the weirdo…